Friday, May 28, 2010

Does anyone read this blog anymore?!

I am sure not too many people do since I am seriously failing to keep this blog up and running. It's been a big transition going from one to two. I am hoping it's my hardest transition!! :D

Tonight I felt like I needed to write. I wanted to tell everyone about Jeremiah. I want to say how much we've grown as a family. We loved Jeremiah before we got him. I can say I truly did. When I first saw him it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!! I couldn't believe we had him in our arms...it was pure joy. When we got home it got hard though. I can't explain it...post adoption depression? Jetlag? Transition from a fairly independent 4 year old to a 10 month old baby requiring constant attention? Trying to figure out said 10 month old baby...why does he throw up all his food? Blow outs, crying, clingy, trying to do everything the "right" way for an adopted child, give Emmy attention, feel guilty for Emmy not getting attention, feel guilty letting Jeremiah cry for 10 seconds, etc. It was a rough few weeks.

We have really gotten in a groove now though. I don't believe in jinks' so I won't knock on wood. :D I know we'll still have our moments (with two you have those moments) but really I feel like our family has grown close in the past few weeks. I can say how much more my love has grown for Jeremiah. Although adopting is so different than having a biological child in so many ways it is also the same. I loved Emmy so much more at 6 months than I did at 3 months. Again much more at 3 years than at one year. My love for her just continued to grow...I can already tell it's the same with Jeremiah. We as parents love our children the more we get to know them...the more we pray for them...the more we allow God to work in us and through us to these little ones He put in our lives and hearts.

I was thinking about this because of how much my love has grown for Jeremiah. Everyday I learn more about our little boy and think about the life he had before us. The trials he endured at such a young age...and the trials he will endure later too. Rocking him to sleep tonight I was so caught off guard by my emotions...thinking he had never been rocked to sleep the way I rock him...that he probably never had someone sing to him the way I sing to him...that he didn't have someone love him the way I love him. It broke my heart thinking my son missed out on this. Then it broke my heart even more knowing so many are missing out on these moments.

Oh Lord, arise, defend the fatherless. Let them feel your lovingkindness!!

We know God calls us to love and care for orphans. God calls each of us to that in different ways. If we feel the Lord nudging us toward adoption and we are scared that is normal. In fact I don't know one person who hasn't been scared to adopt. We just need to trust that if God is leading us to adoption to then follow Him and trust. We love the children He has entrusted to us...We love them because love is a choice...an action...not a feeling. The feelings come after obedience. Pray and when you know God is saying "yes...I have a child for you through adoption." Pray some more...and trust. He has an amazing blessing for you...He wants to grow you...stretch you...bless you! We are blessed, and in love with our boy. :D



Monday, May 10, 2010

1st Birthday and Mother's Day

We celebrated Jeremiah's 1st birthday May 7th. We choose May 7th with the help of our physician. Jeremiah was most likely born before this day...we just can't know for sure. It really doesn't matter though because God knows.

It may be hard for him later in life to know he doesn't know his actual birthday. I know the date and time Emmy was born. I know all the details...I am sad I don't know these things for Jeremiah. So I was thinking about all of this Sunday and I realized how special it is that he has a secret with God. No one on earth knows the day or the time Jeremiah was born except his birth mom or dad whom we will never know until we pass through this life onto the next. But God knows...That is Jeremiah's little secret with God. Although it will be hard for him I want him to know how special it is that He and God have a secret together. A secret that Jeremiah will know one day...

Two days later I celebrated Mother's Day. My first Mother's Day as a mom to TWO children. A dream of mine that has come true. I always wanted alot of kids and never knew how they would all come to be...slowly I am finding out. I just couldn't help but think of Jeremiah's birthmom. I am sure every Birthday, Mother's Day, Graduation Days, etc. I will think of her and pray for her. My prayer is always that she will come to know the Lord if she doesn't already. I also always pray for comfort, and peace for her to know Jeremiah is safe and with a family who loves him as their own. Thank you for giving him LIFE.

We are praying about adopting again. This time an older child. A child who most likely would not be "chosen" because they have extra "baggage". Although my heart is already on board I am also mentally preparing/praying about this because I know how selfish I am!! :D I know it would be a challenge in so many ways...I know I would be blessed to be apart of it all...but that selfishness just resides in me. I am praying alot about this.

Biological or adopted; we are just excited to see our family unfold. We are so blessed to have Jeremiah and Emmy. To have more would just let our cup overflow!!

We love you Emmy and Jeremiah!
Momma

Saturday, May 1, 2010

A new normal...

It's so fun watching these two interact. I love it!! I was finishing dinner and Emmy was pretending to be a Teranadon (sp) dinosaur from a show she likes watching and I noticed Jeremiah was copying her laughing, and smiling. I had to catch it on film. But of course when the camera comes out they don't "perform" as they were, but he still did some of what he was doing. I love our new normal. Enjoy...
video