By Charlie Beal
My Life is Not My Own
Go ahead and say it with me, “My life is not my own.” It sounds pretty powerful, doesn’t it? For me, saying these words is exhilarating. It gives me visions of being the selfless person I’ve always wanted to be…a life-changer, and somewhat of a hero. It makes my chest puff out, my muscles feel a little bigger, and my self-esteem sky rocket. But in truth, when I stop and really think about what these words mean, my selfish side takes over. The initial joy and motivation the words bring is almost instantly gone when I think of reality of what my life would be if I truly lived by those words. Visions of me never getting time to go on a date with my wife, never getting time to myself, or never getting to take a guys golf trip, are all that fill my mind. The new truck I want, the Hawaiian vacation, the country club membership…all gone.
If you have kids, you probably understand that really, your life is already not fully your own. From the moment you wake up to the time you go to bed, you basically exist to meet their needs and keep them safe. Whether you go to work to make money to support them or make meals, bath them, and comfort them, your every day goal is to take care of them first and yourself second.
Why is this subject even on my mind these days? Well, I’ll try to give you the short version. As you may know, we adopted our sweet boy, Jeremiah, from Ethiopia in March of this year. The night before we left for Ethiopia, I had a dream we would meet our next child on our trip. In the dream, I was hanging out and playing soccer with a boy at an orphanage. At the end of our time together, I told the boy, “If you’re here a year from now, I’ll come back for you.” It was a very vivid dream, but was quickly forgotten when we arrived in Ethiopia because of the hectic first few days we had there. The first day we met our son, the second we actually got to take him with us, the third we went shopping, and the fourth day we visited a few orphanages.
At the second orphanage we visited that day, we blew up balloons and played with many kids. After a few minutes of playing, a 5 year-old boy walked up to me, said something in Amharic, grabbed my hand and led me into the orphanage. Inside, he very proudly showed me his bed and took me back to the classroom where he pointed to English letters and pronounced them as best he could. After getting through about half the alphabet, he grabbed my hand again and led me outside, where he quickly pulled out a soccer ball and kicked it toward me. Like a ton of bricks, memories of my dream hit me at full force. While continuing to kick the ball back and forth and acting like a fool to keep him laughing, all I could think was, “Is this our next child? Is God really doing what I think He’s doing right now?” After a few more minutes of me flopping around like a rag-doll and letting him score goals on me, he suddenly stopped, staring at me intently, and let out a loud karate, “Waaaaa” while striking a Bruce Lee-stance. (Funny, as our 5 year-old daughter was in the “karate” stage.) I thought, “He’s happy, he’s goofy…sounds like a Beal to me.”
A few days later, we saw the boy at the Transitional Home after his doctor check-up and I was fortunate enough to get to play with him a little more before we headed back to the hotel. Before leaving, however, we let a representative from our agency know that, “if he is still on the Waiting Child list in six-months, we would like more information on him.” Long-story-short, he is still on the list and (SURPRISE!!!) he has an older brother…and (SURPRISE-PART DEUX) they both have medical conditions.
After finding out about the brother and the medical conditions, I thought, “We probably don’t have the money to support two more kids, let alone kids with medical conditions.” Plus, I’ve always heard you shouldn’t adopt a child older than your current oldest child. Apparently, it can screw up the dynamic of the “birth order.” With all those reasons, I quickly dismissed the idea of adopting these boys, while Becca continued to bring them up to me. I felt bad, but I’m the man in the relationship. I’m supposed to be the logical one and not do things which could “harm” our family’s future (ie…put us into debt, etc…). Well, after a few months now, Becca hasn’t stop bringing them up to me and to top it off, one night Emmy prayed, “And God if you want these boys in our family, we’ll say yes.” (Picture my jaw hitting the floor and tear-ducts going into full production.) The innocent faith of a 5 year-old can really put things into perspective for a logical-thinking grown-up. Becca and I just looked at each other and agreed we should look into it further.
So here we are, trying to imagine life with 4 kids, a mortgage payment, a school loan payment (which acts like a mortgage payment), day-to-day expenses, all while hearing in the back of our hearts and minds, “My life is not my own.” Those words never ring so true than when I imagine if something happened to Becca and I, and our children were left with no one to love them, care for them, read to them, or hold them. I would want someone to take them in, no matter the cost or hardship their new parents may face. When I think of our children alone, the conviction can’t be any greater. My life is not my own.
Imagine if Jesus decided on the cross, “Nope. I really would like to help you guys out, but this whole thing is putting a lot of stress on me. I mean, let’s be honest, you’re asking a lot of me.” Fortunately, He stayed the course and showed, in the truest sense of the words, “My life is not my own.” So, why shouldn’t we?
Please pray with us as we lay our future in front of God…pray for our hearts and minds…for wisdom and peace with whatever God holds for us. Most importantly, please pray for these two boys…that God would provide a loving family for both of them, whether it’s us or some other family. We serve a mighty God who knows our hearts, knows what we can handle, and knows how to provide in all things.
I’ll close with this…Jesus has prepared an amazing banquet for all who come to Him and there is ALWAYS room for more at His table. Last time I counted (and here’s when I faint), there are 8 chairs at the Beal dining room table. Please pray.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
One year ago today...
One year ago today I was working in Emmy's class
One year ago today I didn't have my cell phone with me which was and is a normal occurence
One year ago today I didn't expect to get a call about you
One year ago today I thought we'd have to wait at least another month to hear your name, see your picture, and learn everything about you
One year ago today Daddy was FREAKING out because he got "the call" and couldn't get a hold of me for about 2 hrs.
One year ago today I was helping a classroom full of preschoolers glue, cut, write, color, share, and get a snack.
One year ago today Daddy was mad at me for not having my phone attached to my body. See we had made a deal neither of us could look at your picture without the other.
One year ago today when Daddy called and told me we got "the call" I didn't believe him.
One year ago today I started crying when I realized it was true.
One year ago today I drove too fast to get home so I could see you for the first time.
One year ago today my hands were shaking as I opened the file with your picture.
One year ago today we saw your beautiful face.
One year ago today we fell in love with you.
One year ago today we prayed for you with your beautiful face in our minds and heart.
One year ago today I felt so happy that I finally got to see you!
We love you Jeremiah Eyob...
First picture we saw of you!
One year ago today I didn't have my cell phone with me which was and is a normal occurence
One year ago today I didn't expect to get a call about you
One year ago today I thought we'd have to wait at least another month to hear your name, see your picture, and learn everything about you
One year ago today Daddy was FREAKING out because he got "the call" and couldn't get a hold of me for about 2 hrs.
One year ago today I was helping a classroom full of preschoolers glue, cut, write, color, share, and get a snack.
One year ago today Daddy was mad at me for not having my phone attached to my body. See we had made a deal neither of us could look at your picture without the other.
One year ago today when Daddy called and told me we got "the call" I didn't believe him.
One year ago today I started crying when I realized it was true.
One year ago today I drove too fast to get home so I could see you for the first time.
One year ago today my hands were shaking as I opened the file with your picture.
One year ago today we saw your beautiful face.
One year ago today we fell in love with you.
One year ago today we prayed for you with your beautiful face in our minds and heart.
One year ago today I felt so happy that I finally got to see you!
We love you Jeremiah Eyob...
First picture we saw of you!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Orphan Sunday
"Not flesh of my flesh nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own, never forget for a single moment, you didn't grow under my heart but in it...."
We put this quote on our announcements for Jeremiah's arrival. I love it. It describes perfectly the way we feel about Miah. I can honestly say after almost 8 months with him that he is my child. He is my own. Some people will say "...and Emmy is your own?" after saying we adopted Jeremiah. I know adoptive parents can get offended easily and really it's just because their/our hearts are sensitive to this subject at times. I don't get offended because they are using improper "adoption" lingo...I know they mean no harm. They are not aware of how those words can hurt a child. I truly have prayed I wouldn't be so sensitive to those comments because I don't want Jeremiah to become sensitive to them. However I also know I have to correct them in a non defensive way for Jeremiah. I never want him to feel he isn't mine. I never want him to feel like Emmy is my own and Jeremiah is my adopted son. No...they are both my own but came about differently. He IS my son.
I just find myself looking at him wondering how in the world he is here...how he came from Ethiopia...and how it just feels so natural and right that he is my son!! It's all so miraculous and amazing!
God is so good. God has adopted us into His family. When Adam and Eve sinned They alienated themselves from God. They became spirital orphans. The only solution was to restore them (and us too!) back to God. Well no longer are we orphans. We turned from Him yes, then crucified His son yes, but this was His plan to bring us back to relationshiop with Him. He paid a price, a big price....His son dying in our place that we might have a home with our Father again. We have all the rights, inheritance and blessings. We are no longer Orphans...we are loved and we are cherished and we are HOME with Christ Jesus our Lord and SAVIOR! All we have to do is believe...
If you haven't prayed for these children please do today. These 147 million children around the world that have no family. I can't imagine. Pray about how God wants us to help...How God is calling you to help. It could be as simple as sponsoring a child or being a big brother or sister for these types of programs. Or it could be opening your heart and home to a child.
This is a great website to find out more!
http://www.showhope.org/
Psalms 10:14 But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself
to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.
Psalms 68:5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
Isaiah 1:17 learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the
oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case
of the widow.
Psalm 82:3 Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause
of the poor and the oppressed.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and
faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their
distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
THANK YOU LORD FOR CARING FOR OUR JEREMIAH!
We put this quote on our announcements for Jeremiah's arrival. I love it. It describes perfectly the way we feel about Miah. I can honestly say after almost 8 months with him that he is my child. He is my own. Some people will say "...and Emmy is your own?" after saying we adopted Jeremiah. I know adoptive parents can get offended easily and really it's just because their/our hearts are sensitive to this subject at times. I don't get offended because they are using improper "adoption" lingo...I know they mean no harm. They are not aware of how those words can hurt a child. I truly have prayed I wouldn't be so sensitive to those comments because I don't want Jeremiah to become sensitive to them. However I also know I have to correct them in a non defensive way for Jeremiah. I never want him to feel he isn't mine. I never want him to feel like Emmy is my own and Jeremiah is my adopted son. No...they are both my own but came about differently. He IS my son.
I just find myself looking at him wondering how in the world he is here...how he came from Ethiopia...and how it just feels so natural and right that he is my son!! It's all so miraculous and amazing!
God is so good. God has adopted us into His family. When Adam and Eve sinned They alienated themselves from God. They became spirital orphans. The only solution was to restore them (and us too!) back to God. Well no longer are we orphans. We turned from Him yes, then crucified His son yes, but this was His plan to bring us back to relationshiop with Him. He paid a price, a big price....His son dying in our place that we might have a home with our Father again. We have all the rights, inheritance and blessings. We are no longer Orphans...we are loved and we are cherished and we are HOME with Christ Jesus our Lord and SAVIOR! All we have to do is believe...
If you haven't prayed for these children please do today. These 147 million children around the world that have no family. I can't imagine. Pray about how God wants us to help...How God is calling you to help. It could be as simple as sponsoring a child or being a big brother or sister for these types of programs. Or it could be opening your heart and home to a child.
This is a great website to find out more!
http://www.showhope.org/
Psalms 10:14 But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;
you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself
to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.
Psalms 68:5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
Isaiah 1:17 learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the
oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case
of the widow.
Psalm 82:3 Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause
of the poor and the oppressed.
James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and
faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their
distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
THANK YOU LORD FOR CARING FOR OUR JEREMIAH!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Adoption is much more than...
Go to this blog and read this post...it is exactly how I feel but could not explain it any better. Adoption is much more than doing "good", being like the stars, following a popular trend. It is a God given desire...with ALOT of prayer by the birth mom and adoptive mom God works miracles.
http://weloveourlucy.blogspot.com/2010/10/post-one-on-returning-to-ethiopia.html
http://weloveourlucy.blogspot.com/2010/10/post-one-on-returning-to-ethiopia.html
Friday, September 17, 2010
Adoption Journey at OneTrueMedia.com
Our journey to Jeremiah...we had him 6 months as of yesterday!! We love you son! :D
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Oh the joys...
My blog was just published on Adoption Experiences website. Their link is on the right of this page. It will be neat to have more people read the blog and hopefully be encouraged in their own walk with adoption.
So one of the things we got to experience when adopting Jeremiah was giardia. A parasite. It's taken a couple treatments and a couple months for us to finally EVICT this stinkin' bug. And by the way, it IS stinky!! Whew!
Although we rid ourselves of the "stink bug" we are now dealing with some effects of a possible dairy allergy. This is hard because Jeremiah LOVES dairy. Milk isn't his favorite but cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt. This is going to be tough. We'll get through it and hopefully his tummy will feel better after we figure out what is wrong. He sure doesn't like most of the foods I am giving him. :/
Other than that we are just enjoying our last days of summer. It's been beautiful here other than a few summer thunder storms. Hope you all enjoy your last days of summer as well!! :D
Below are a few pictures I took recently...I love my kids. :)
So one of the things we got to experience when adopting Jeremiah was giardia. A parasite. It's taken a couple treatments and a couple months for us to finally EVICT this stinkin' bug. And by the way, it IS stinky!! Whew!
Although we rid ourselves of the "stink bug" we are now dealing with some effects of a possible dairy allergy. This is hard because Jeremiah LOVES dairy. Milk isn't his favorite but cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt. This is going to be tough. We'll get through it and hopefully his tummy will feel better after we figure out what is wrong. He sure doesn't like most of the foods I am giving him. :/
Other than that we are just enjoying our last days of summer. It's been beautiful here other than a few summer thunder storms. Hope you all enjoy your last days of summer as well!! :D
Below are a few pictures I took recently...I love my kids. :)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Fever...
I've got a fever. It's called baby fever...and I have it BAD!
I know what you are thinking "she is crazy! She just got a baby 5 months ago!" Well you are right...I am crazy!
I have hard days, good days, sleepy days. But all these days are so fun and filled with so much joy! I would love to have a full house. I just love hearing Emmy in Miah's room in the morning. They laugh, yell, and just giggle till I can't stand it and have to join the fun. It is so sweet...I am getting ready to add another. Whether another bio or through adoption we'll be praying about it and let God figure that out. ;)
Daddy however isn't ready...he is enjoying Miah and Emmy too but thinking more level headed than me. Tends to be what men do, right?
I am also itching to start an orphan ministry at our church. I am really praying about this. This would be a big step and I want it to be ALL God. I don't want to try and make this happen. I want God to make it happen so it will grow, flourish and impact people to love orphans. I am just really ready to advocate in a big way for orphans. However God wants to use me. So I am praying and waiting on Him in this too.
So we wait...we pray...and we wait some more. Sound familar?? Story of our lives, right?! Waiting, trusting, praying, and waiting some more. Although it can be difficult to wait, waiting always leads to something beautiful...
I know what you are thinking "she is crazy! She just got a baby 5 months ago!" Well you are right...I am crazy!
I have hard days, good days, sleepy days. But all these days are so fun and filled with so much joy! I would love to have a full house. I just love hearing Emmy in Miah's room in the morning. They laugh, yell, and just giggle till I can't stand it and have to join the fun. It is so sweet...I am getting ready to add another. Whether another bio or through adoption we'll be praying about it and let God figure that out. ;)
Daddy however isn't ready...he is enjoying Miah and Emmy too but thinking more level headed than me. Tends to be what men do, right?
I am also itching to start an orphan ministry at our church. I am really praying about this. This would be a big step and I want it to be ALL God. I don't want to try and make this happen. I want God to make it happen so it will grow, flourish and impact people to love orphans. I am just really ready to advocate in a big way for orphans. However God wants to use me. So I am praying and waiting on Him in this too.
So we wait...we pray...and we wait some more. Sound familar?? Story of our lives, right?! Waiting, trusting, praying, and waiting some more. Although it can be difficult to wait, waiting always leads to something beautiful...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)